Monday, October 22, 2012
I haven't ever felt this drained, or numb....ever. The first thing is to figure out how to start picking myself back up slowly but surely. I do know all of the 'alone time' I have in this truck doesn't help but I think I am getting a grip on those damn pesky voices that like to question everything. A few of the other voices got tired of them and they are currently tied, gagged, and thrown in the closet. Hopefully they don't get out for a while. lol
Driving a truck really leaves me with zero time it seems to spend with anyone. I have been searching but I've yet to find anyone willing to take someone who is gone weeks at a time. I have a feeling that search isn't going to get any easier.
I know I need to be happy, but what is happiness? I thought I knew but it looks like I didn't have the whole thing down. Some people say you have to be happy with yourself. Easier said than done. One of my problems is that I always have sacrificed my happiness so that others could be happy. In thinking that seeing others happy made me happy. Its just how I'm wired, and I don't know how to rewire myself.
I guess I just feel if I do things to just make myself happy, I'm being conceited, etc concentrating on myself instead of others.
Right now as you can see, I'm struggling hard on the 'make me happy' part, so does anyone have any suggestions or sage advice?