I'll admit at times I feel that way. Not like the exact same event is happening every day, thank god, but maybe in life in general.
I'm sitting here thinking about the fact that I have been back on the road for over a year and a half, going on two years. I know I chose this life again, but the one thing I didn't consider was how bad the economy really affected the trucking industry.
Confused? Let me explain.
Before I left as an over the road driver in 2006,(due to being deployed overseas) I could schedule home time every 2-3 weeks and make a very good living with no issues. Loads were there, cost of living wasn't too bad out on the road.
When I came back in 2011, I have discovered in order to make sure I can meet all of my financial obligations, I have to stay out 3-4 weeks, and the cost of living out on the road is much worse.
What that means, is that what little social life I had a few years ago, has now drifted down to an almost absolute zero. I've had people tell me I should find myself a girlfriend, have fun etc etc. Well if you have read my previous blog, you'll see that I've noticed that as a society we have changed to wanting things 'NOW'. I have found that it seems like when someone finds out I'm a truck driver, any interest suddenly evaporates. I saw this to a lesser effect when I was in law enforcement,(yes I worked ALOT of hours then too), but wrote it off as someone not wanting to deal with someone in that lifestyle.
I've re-evaluated that thought. I look back and it was that person wanting things 'NOW'. They want you around at their beck and call, when THEY want. I am thinking people have forgotten the art of 'compromise' and figure out good middle ground that both can handle. That is part of what being in a relationship means, communicating and working things out. Another part is realizing that you are only one part in the relationship and there are other many parts, besides your partner, such as kids, grand kids, family etc.
Now back to this feeling in a rut thing. I know part of this is due to not taking any time to have FUN, take a break, cut loose. I keep telling myself I need to take a cruise, but I keep putting it off because that logical side of me says 'you can't afford it'. Well, I'm figuring out if I don't do something like that soon I might just wither up and die inside, becoming a working 'robot' for all practical purposes with no zest, no feeling for life.
A very good friend of mine has a nice quote. "Love today, for tomorrow is not promised". They are so right in that a person should LOVE for today, live it, have fun because you never know what tomorrow will bring if it even arrives. I'll freely admit, I haven't done this. I've taken tomorrow for granted, taken for granted that people will always be there for you no matter what. Do you know what? I KNOW I have missed out on a lot, and I kick myself for it. I know there is nothing I can do to get any of that back, but I can turn over a new leaf, and just LIVE.
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