Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Clearing things up
Have you ever thought that you were doing the 'right thing' by cutting off all communication at once to end something?
Now for the next question. Were you able to figure out WHY things reached the point they did? Or better yet, were you able to move on with the specter of the last relationship/friendship hanging over your head.
I'm going to guess that you had a pretty difficult time.
Going off of personal experience, I have seen that when a person does this, there is no real 'finality' to anything. You still have that voice in the back of your head playing that god awful 'WHAT IF' game. At least it does with me anyways.
That little voice can be the most destructive thing in your life. I know I have a pretty active imagination so I can come up with some pretty good 'what if' situations that can just drive you nuts.
I have became one of those type of people in the last 5 years or so that would rather have the truth, than even a little white lie, or even worse, silence. I know like anyone else I don't want to make the same mistakes again. Like anyone else, I sometimes don't want to hear the truth, but it has to be said, and repeated at times until it sinks in.
The thing about it, is the fact when both parties can talk about what they think happened with things, it really helps with the closure of everything. That specter, that 'little green monster' of what if, is taken out of the picture, and it helps the healing process.
Now I didn't say hearing the truth wouldn't be painful. But the thing is, sometimes you have to deal with that short amount of pain, to be able to heal and move on. If you don't, it can color how you approach any other relationship or friendship and that can doom it to failure from day one.
I look back in my life, and I see a few friendships and old relationships that I have not done this. The closer I look the more I see how damaging it was not only to me, but to the other party. It can hurt that person for years if left unchecked.
Also looking back I see who my true friends are. The ones that don't pull punches. You know, the ones that can be irritating at times because what they told you hurt, but it was the truth. They are the ones that stand beside you through thick and thin if you let them.
I can say, I am truly grateful for my true friends and I hope they know who they are. It might hurt for a short while to hear the truth, but its needed, and I hope I can return the favor by being a true friend to them.
Lets face it, in this world, what would we be without our true friends and family?