How to be strong....

I sit here and look back and have a few friends who are in different situations but it is the same premises. They have something going on with their life and it appears to be at a turning point.

They are usually at a crossroads where they need to make an important decision that can affect how their life will be from that point on. 

I know quite a few people would want to step in, give advice, but they ultimately end up taking the situation over and making the decision for that person, which is not a good thing.

 When you reach a crossroads in life, the only way you know for a fact that it was the right decision is for you to make it yourself.  Now that doesn't mean that you don't ask for or receive any help to carry out the decision.  After all, that's what friends are for, and most would gladly help you in this regard.  The biggest thing though is that you have to ultimately make that final decision yourself. 

Drawing strength from friends and family is the biggest power a person can use.  You don't have to feel alone out there when making a major decision.  Your friends and family should stand with you side by side, to lend you their strength and knowledge to help you through that crossroads.

I know that's where I'm at right now, standing by to give my friends the strength they need to make the decision they need to so they can continue to move down the path.  I wish I could make the decision for them, but that's not my job.  I can give advice, and strength for whatever decision that they do make, and know that ultimately that they made the right decision.

Same old grind....

Do you sometimes feel like you get in a rut? Doing the same thing day in and day out? Do you feel like Bill Murry in Groundhog Day?

I'll admit at times I feel that way.  Not like the exact same event is happening every day, thank god, but maybe in life in general.

I'm sitting here thinking about the fact that I have been back on the road for over a year and a half, going on two years.  I know I chose this life again, but the one thing I didn't consider was how bad the economy really affected the trucking industry.

Confused?  Let me explain.

Before I left as an over the road driver in 2006,(due to being deployed overseas) I could schedule home time every 2-3 weeks and make a very good living with no issues.  Loads were there, cost of living wasn't too bad out on the road.

When I came back in 2011, I have discovered in order to make sure I can meet all of my financial obligations, I have to stay out 3-4 weeks, and the cost of living out on the road is much worse.

What that means, is that what little social life I had a few years ago, has now drifted down to an almost absolute zero.  I've had people tell me I should find myself a girlfriend, have fun etc etc.  Well if you have read my previous blog, you'll see that I've noticed that as a society we have changed to wanting things 'NOW'.  I have found that it seems like when someone finds out I'm a truck driver, any interest suddenly evaporates.  I saw this to a lesser effect when I was in law enforcement,(yes I worked ALOT of hours then too), but wrote it off as someone not wanting to deal with someone in that lifestyle.

I've re-evaluated that thought.  I look back and it was that person wanting things 'NOW'.  They want you around at their beck and call, when THEY want.  I am thinking people have forgotten the art of 'compromise' and figure out good middle ground that both can handle.  That is part of what being in a relationship means, communicating and working things out.  Another part is realizing that you are only one part in the relationship and there are other many parts, besides your partner, such as kids, grand kids, family etc.

Now back to this feeling in a rut thing.  I know part of this is due to not taking any time to have FUN, take a break, cut loose.  I keep telling myself I need to take a cruise, but I keep putting it off because that logical side of me says 'you can't afford it'.  Well, I'm figuring out if I don't do something like that soon I might just wither up and die inside, becoming a working 'robot' for all practical purposes with no zest, no feeling for life.

A very good friend of mine has a nice quote. "Love today, for tomorrow is not promised".  They are so right in that a person should LOVE for today, live it, have fun because you never know what tomorrow will bring if it even arrives.  I'll freely admit, I haven't done this.  I've taken tomorrow for granted, taken for granted that people will always be there for you no matter what.  Do you know what?  I KNOW I have missed out on a lot, and I kick myself for it.  I know there is nothing I can do to get any of that back, but I can turn over a new leaf, and just LIVE.

Do we have to have it now?

I have been noticing something here lately. It seems that we, not only individually but also as a society currently have the mindset that 'We want it and we want it now!'. I know this isn't something that came along overnight. 

You hear major media outlets talk on how they need to get the message they are trying to get across in less than 30 seconds or they lose the audience.

Look at Twitter.  Yes, I use Twitter, and it can be a good information source when links are added, but limiting a post to 140 characters really makes for a short conversation.

I know it was a market selling point, but it seems that more people have fallen into this mentality of wanting things NOW.

Lets move the focus to relationships.  I can remember, oh, not even 4 years ago when I got divorced that conversations with others seemed to last longer.  You took more time to get to know someone.  Now, it seems if things don't 'click' within the first few exchanges, one or both of the person's move on to the next one.

How much can you truly learn about someone in just a few short exchanges?  Not much I contend.  Even if they have a detailed profile you are looking at, that is still just a small snapshot into who they really are.  The only way you are going to find out it to spend some time and effort to get to know them.

Call me old-fashioned, but I like to get to know the person before I make a decision like that.  You don't know what kind of an impact this person could have in your life as a friend, best friend, companion, etc.

I have posted before that I am a firm believer that people come and go in your life.  Some are around for a few weeks or months, others a lifetime.  The times that they enter your life are usually during an event that they can help focus, if you let them.  Everyone that enters your life serves some purpose, the trick is letting them fulfill that purpose.

That brings me back to the 'me me me' society we have today.  I honestly believe that people are cutting those links too fast before that person fulfills that purpose in your life.  A life with unfulfilled purpose is really no life at all as it would seem shallow and empty.

So lets do the age old adage, 'stop and smell the roses'.  Lets not only smell the roses, but look at the petals, see how full they are.  Look at the stem, and see the thorns as you carefully hold it, admiring its beauty and intoxicating smell, but also remember that it can cause pain.  A rose is a good symbol showing that an item can be both pleasurable and painful, depending on how you look at it.

EOBR's, the truths and myths

Ok, so today I was listening to my XM radio while driving down the road. One of the topics was the EOBR mandate that congress put in the highway transportation bill. Now right off the bat I know there are some pretty uninformed drivers but today most of them just set me off on the deep end.

I mean heck, almost to a man they all lamented on how they wish we were back in the 'good old days' running the paper logs how we used to over 10 years ago.

I started driving in 93, and from day one I dealt with paper logs with the job I had.  I'll be honest, the morons that want to go back to those days are just flat out stupid, and that's being nice to the stupid people.  The rules we had at that point were over 50 years old!!!!! 50 years!!!!  Do I need to say it again? 50 years!!!!!   They were initially enacted back when trucks were just a wee bit different than they are now.

So yes, the rules needed to change with the times.  Manufacturers made the trucks a heck of a lot more comfortable to drive and ride in.  A person was not as worn out driving a full day vs 15-20 years ago.  The old rules were that...old.

Now I'll admit, no one likes it when the government gets involved in regulation and rulemaking, but when the industry won't voluntarily do it themselves they have to step in and this is where we are today.

The first myth is that when running an EOBR, you will drive less miles vs paper logs where drivers could 'fudge' things once in a while.  Well I have been running with an EOBR for over a year now, and you know what, my revenue on my truck went UP...not down.

The key to making the EOBR work for you is this neat little thing called 'time management'.  Even when I ran paper logs I did time management down to the point I could inform anyone when I would deliver and be there ON TIME, EVERY TIME.  If a driver isn't doing time management, he is wasting alot of time I can guarantee that.

An EOBR also helps with those pesky shippers and receivers that like to keep you over their allotted 2 hours to load or unload.  It's really hard for their billing department to argue when you have devices with GPS capability that your equipment was there when you said it was.  Unless they like paying the massive detention time that I know companies are charging, the more companies running EOBR's, the quicker they are going to unload those trucks.

Another myth is that you can't change anything on an EOBR.  Well I know with the model I have, a Qualcomm MCT200, I can edit any line BUT the drive line. 

This one is probably not a myth, BUT any company pulling this kind of crap won't have quality drivers for long.  Companies are forcing their drivers to drive their full 11 hours, or get back on the road right when their 10 is up.  The one I drive for doesn't do that.  To micromanage a driver like that is really not worth it.  The companies that do this kind of a practice have an extremely high turnover rate I'm willing to bet.

Once you drive your 11, or reach your 14, you have to shut down or get a violation.  The log rules didn't change people.  The exception for bad weather etc of 2 hours still applies.  It just means you have to DOCUMENT what the reason is.

Only the big companies want EOBR's.  Really?  The large carriers only make up about 10 percent of the total companies out here.  You would be surprised to see how many smaller carriers have 'electronic logs in use' stickers on their trucks so that myth is a wash.

My final thing is that as we continue to get more technology, its going to get used.  A person can either flow with the times, and be vigilant, to make sure the rules are fair.... or they just flat need to get out of the industry.  Things are NOT going to go back to the 'good old days', trust me.

New addition to the truck

While I was home this weekend I added a new item to my truck. an 18' stepbox by Sturdy-Lite.  When I put my Dynasys APU on, they installed the blower motor box in my right sidebox taking up all of the space.  That was where I normally stored my snow chains,(that I have yet to use thank god lol) so I needed some more storage.

I was planning on getting a box eventually so  this worked out.  I had ordered one at the beginning of the week from a site online, but was told the next day they were out.  I found this one at Southwest Trailer Sales in Oklahoma City.  The other nice thing was that it cost me 100 dollars less than the one I would have gotten online.  So instead of costing 450, this one cost 350, which was really nice.

The one thing I might have to do is put some bracing on it, but the jury is still out on that.  Other than that its a pretty solid box built here in the US.

Decisions of the heart

Have you ever heard of the old saying, 'If you love something set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be'? I have and for the longest time I thought I knew what it meant. Well, now I can safely say I actually do.

I'm sure everyone has the idea in one way shape or form that this would be an easy idea to follow.  I mean heck, its a pretty simple decision isn't it?  Well I have found out there are just a few pitfalls to this kind of a decision.

I guess part of the 'test' of this kind of saying is the thoughts and feelings you go through while that person that you have fallen in love with is away.  I mean there is really no communication with them at this point to let them know the depths of how you feel since setting them free means not communicating the depths of your soul to them.  You have to operate off of 'faith' that things will work out in the end.

Faith.  That is probably the hardest thing for a person to have it seems.  It hinges on believing in the unknown, the unseen, that things will be as how they should be with no influence from your part.  Faith is probably the ultimate, highest aspect of trust.  Without one, you can't have the other.  I honestly think having faith in religion is a lot easier than having faith and trust in a person.  As far as I'm concerned this is the ultimate test of a relationship, if it can make it through this then it can make it through anything.

One of the other pitfalls, at least for me, is quieting your mind and just let things flow to the conclusion that will happen.  Not the conclusion you want or desire, but the one that should naturally happen.  You see, I am a thinker, I always have been.  It was something that I refined when I was growing up on the farm.  All of those endless hours spent out in the field on the tractor gave you 'plenty' of time to think through different ideas and problems.  I would look at things from every conceivable angle I could to determine the best course of action.  The sad thing though is that with all of that time, over 30 years basically, I have recently found one angle I can't figure out or even remotely consider, 'Free Will'.

 Free Will.  That is the one thing I can't account for, the one thing I can't change.  Everyone has it.  Everyone one uses it.  Even if that person has allowed someone else to make their decisions for them, their first decision of free will, was to allow another person to take it, so they had it up to that point.  I'll admit, free will scares the crap out of me because its the ultimate 'ace card'.  I have no idea what it is going to do.

So that is where we come back to Faith.  A person has to have faith, they have to be open to change, whatever it may be and let it and free will take its course.  It's the scariest thing I have ever encountered in my life.  I would almost rather be back in the middle east being shot at or blown up, or back on the beat putting my life on the line every day.  It scares me that much, but I know I have to let go, let things run their course, and have Faith that it will turn out however it is suppose to be.  No matter how it turns out, I know I will be stronger for it.

An interesting direction

I have to say you never know when something interesting will drop by. Here today a few owner operators and I were discussing some issues privately online. Out of the blue we have all came to the consensus that we needed a more official organization for the things we are talking about.

Now I have to say this is surprising as this type of thing had been suggested before but was either shot down, or no  one made any real moves with it.

I am a firm believer in that things do happen at certain times for a reason.  The key is to be able to recognize that it is happening and let it flow and see what comes out of it.  It's the same concept that you have certain people that either come into your life, or re-appear at the right time to help you through a situation.  A person just has to be able to recognize the fact and let it happen.

That's how I feel about this current item.  I feel it is at the cusp, the breaking point of suddenly flowing and turning into something that could be really fun, and helpful in our lives.  Here is to hoping I see more signs such as this and recognize them for what they are.